Joining via Skype from the North Pole in a rare interview, Santa Claus settled in front of the screen with the look of a busy man. The bustling preparations for Christmas 2014 could be heard in the background of the jovial figure.
The following is a word-for-word transcript of the discussion:
Santa: Hullo? Hullo? Is this thing on?
WR: Yes, greetings Santa! On behalf of the San Francisco Bay Area we wish you—
Santa: Hullo! Is this the roofing business? Have I got the roofers?
WR: Yes, Santa, this is Wedge Roofing! We’re honored you chose to—
Santa: Yes, the roofers! Now listen, I’ve got a lot of work to do in preparation for Christmas Eve, but I’m relying on Wedge Roofing to spread a special message this year!
WR: Of course we will, what’s the— Santa: Here’s the message! I need you to tell the people that their roofs need to be sturdy enough to hold my reindeer, myself, my sleigh and my magic bag!
WR: Wait, you want us to “spread the message,” how?
Santa: Just tell every homeowner on the planet to take a look at some better roofs.
WR: Every homeowner on the planet?
Santa: Yes.
WR: Well, we’ve got a blog . . .
Santa: International readership?
WR: We get a few visitors from Canada every once and a while . . .?
Santa: That’ll do. Also, this is a two-parter, also tell the people to clean out their darned gutters, my reindeer get too full from eating all the leaves by the end of my run!
WR: Okay Santa, we got it. So it’s 1) roof sturdiness and 2) clearing debris from roof gutters
Santa: What? Have I got the roofers? WR:
WR: Yes, Santa, this is Wedge Roofing!
Santa: Okay, bye!
As suddenly as it started, the screen went dark.
Still stunned by such a momentous and mythical conference call, the staff at Wedge Roofing looked at one another quizzically. “Well, you heard the man,” said Wedge Roofing’s president, Ralph Wedge breaking the silence, “let’s hit the white-boards.”
Working in chorus, the staff quickly cleared off the large white-boards in the roofing strategy room and did some quick calculations:
After some initial heated debate over the number of reindeer on Santa’s sleigh being eight or nine, the team agreed on the latter and came up with the approximate weight of Santa, his magic bag, his sleigh and his reindeer to be 4,200 pounds, which distributed over the roof area calculate to a live load of 5.6 pounds per square foot.
Content with the math, General Manager Gary Harvey put the question to the room: “Well what would be the best roofing system to handle that weight?”
It was concluded that the live load weight was well within the ability of newer roof systems to function without damage.
“Built-up roofs can handle that amount of weight,” the estimators chimed in, “But we could also add racking strength to many roofs by using sprayed polyurethane foam on the interior portions of the roof or as an added layer on flat roofs. Foam can also be installed much more quickly than other roofing types.”
“Alright, good, let’s publish the minutes of this meeting in the blog to fulfill Santa’s request!” said Ralph Wedge, the president. “And, to clear out the leaves in the gutters so Santa’s reindeer don’t eat them, also link our Roof Maintenance program in the blog!”
And so it was, that Wedge Roofing fulfilled their obligations to a Skyping Santa Claus and got the word out about the importance of roof system strength and gutter cleaning during the winter!
Happy Holidays everyone!
